Saturday, January 26, 2008

Poor Molly... her mom dresses her funny

Like the saddle pad? I got a puke green Jones right now. I've been buying the new color 'thang in the Western Whore look for a while.

The horse I am riding is Molly Pearl, A.K.A. Mo' the Ho', my talented and lazy mustang mare. We're team penning here and she's pissed off because I'm asking for a canter (canter conversion for you English/Dressage folks) by touching her side with my leg.

Sadly, when Molly had just been started, I was kicked by a friends mare and my leg was severely broken. So I incorrectly decided that Mo' needed to have her training continued rather than letting her have a rest while I recuperated.

Unfortunately, the person who trained her used spurs unsparingly. Like an elephant, Molly will never forget the experience and she gets very surly when legs move to her sides. Her head goes up, ears go back, mouth purses up and tail starts twitching.

I love my Mo' the Ho' and I hope someday she'll forgive me for allowing her to be used as a pin cushion.

But hey, I was talking about my penchant for puke green. In general and in the past, I do not like western fashion. I particularly do not like the western pleasure attire and make up, which as I mentioned previously, I refer to as the "Western Whore" look. I was raised with plaid or print yolk shirts with snaps, boot leg cut jeans that aren't so long that you have to roll them up when barefoot and butterfly cutout cowboy boots from Juarez.

That's western fashion for me. In my opinion the clothing that is worn now in western circles these days is more appropriate for the Kit Kat Ranch than for the show ring. Dressing like that is NOT pleasurable. It's for special occasions, if at all. Real ranch women, women who actually ride horses for a living DO NOT dress up for a pleasure hack. They may use make up and dress nicer than I do, but I don't see anyone out with rhinestone encrusted stretch slinkies, tight leather vests, plastic hairspray helmet hair anywhere. This trend is by far the best example of herd mentality I've encountered.

That being said, I do, for some reason, like the green sparkley stuff.

I've always liked sparkley stuff. As a child I used to buy all of the rhinestone jewelry I could find at garage and rummage sales. So the sparkley component of my attachment is easily understood, however, I don't have a real understanding about the puke green.

It's a mystery.

If you're wondering why I care about this at all, I suppose that one day, I'll be one of those nutty old women who wear awful clothing and stand on the corner yelling at people.

(If you're thinking about my last blog, Molly's not lying with her actions, she's "telling" me of her dissatisfaction, but I don't care.)


allfuglies said...

grass is green, horses eat grass, you like horses, pad goes on horse, falls off horse and gets grass stains, no one no on would ever steal it. You just need the matching breast collar.

Twinville said...

Remember the Muppets? "It's not Easy being Green" Remember that song...aahhhhh, the memories brought on by your lovely saddle pad! hehe

Your sweet Mo Ho is one pretty gal, even wearing the green saddle pad.